Archive for March, 2010

You Ready?

Posted in Uncategorized on 30/03/2010 by Joel

Maybe, for once, no proofreading and double checking.

New yardstick and more.

Direction, meaning, significance galore.

Slipping,slipping being mired deep

utterly confused and being sent down to the bottom of the heap.

Weak, small and held in contempt,

yet loved, loved by them.

Loved by all, all but one, but  hard to please, cause I have to be second to none.

Maybe, maybe, It’s time to just be. Let myself free.

“SECOND TO NONE—wrong?”

Thanks.

Posted in Uncategorized on 23/03/2010 by Joel

You know who you are.
At least, I know that there are always people out there who care about me.   🙂

Outburst.

Posted in Uncategorized on 18/03/2010 by Joel

I don’t know.

I’m not sure.

I’m lost.

I have utterly no idea what I’m doing.

Why I’m doing it, what I should be doing, how I should be feeling, why am I feeling like this, what’s happening next, why is this happening, what exactly is happening, whether I’m changing, why I’m changing, whether I should be changing.. This never ends. There’s a never ending stream of questions for me, and I’m left with very little options.

Basketball, Studies, Running, Friends, Fun. It used to be so simple. I don’t know. Now, those 5 things are soooo complicated as sooo many things are intertwined and every millisecond(okay, exaggeration here.) I question the purpose of everything. Confidence? I used to have an abundance. Now? I have no idea.(Did I JUST SAY I USED to have confidence? Hiya.) Damndamndamn! I don’t even know what I’m feeling, but I know it’s negative and it feels like no one cares. The good things, the only good things I had in life have been taken away from me because of–amoral backstabbing, outright betrayal, pressure, expectations, unspoken competition, devaluation, mistrust, deception and pretense.

Even in the brightest purest things, darkness resides.

My only hope is that, Kingdom Hearts, is light.

“Someone help me. Please. Please.”
86400 seconds.”

Whirl.

Posted in Uncategorized on 13/03/2010 by Joel

It’s been a whirl of a fortnight. Time passes wayy too fast and I’m left, disoriented.

But hey, let’s see I what I recall?

Steamboat.
School Team.
CTs.
Fail Math.
Brethren.
Confusion.
New paradigms.
A new start.
Mental tenacity.
Piano.
To Zanarkand.
S.
3-points.
Adversity.
Brotherhood.
Uniqueness.
Individuality.
Horrible GP Essay.
Vigorous Sexual Activity.
Ballgazer!
Running.
Medals.
Emptiness.
Happiness.
Epiphanies.
Might learn to like IT.(HAHA.)
8th and eight.
Hey Stephen.
World of Our Own.
Math Tutorials.
Library Fines.
Consolation.
Miss Pan.
Guitar.
Hot J3s.
Pool.
Lost memories.
Dissdia.
Respect.
Competition.
Who I Am.
86 hours.
Ohana.
Bugis.
Vomit.
And…
You.

If you want to appreciate the value of one fortnight, ask me.

“Justin Bieber’s ” Baby” just pulls my heartstrings. It reminds me of….her.”
“<3<3<3 Hey Stephen <3<3<3”