Archive for May, 2010

Protected: Chodes, Value, Flow and Attraction.

Posted in Uncategorized on 31/05/2010 by Joel

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Protected: Ball.

Posted in Uncategorized on 21/05/2010 by Joel

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Posted in Uncategorized on 17/05/2010 by Joel

For reasons that are not made known to myself, reasons firmly made known to my subconscious, I’ve been feeling downright miserable recently. I’m unsure as to why. The only relief, has been Pride and Prejudice, which I will blog about sometime soon, sleep, basketball and a select few people around me.

Suddenly, I feel that I haven’t been accountable to myself at all–I’m merely bumbling about. I don’t know what’s important, I’ve lessening control over my emotions and thoughts. My, I’m getting increasingly disillusioned with the world. I’ve been thinking that maybe, just maybe, WE, ourselves are the ones causing all the misery. Perhaps, Life is simple after all, and it’s essence is actually what we held dear during our childhood–fun, simplicity and love, unconditional love. All other things, are merely arbitrary and human defined.

Funny and, must be sadly disappointing for some of you(SY?), who have lauded me as complex, brilliant, deep and wonderfully intelligent, that I’m rejecting the very world, that I was gifted with the curse of understanding its inner workings—-as arbitrary, worthless and most of all, merely a hallucination contrived by ALL of us.
You see, the ability to understand things, ideas, concepts—stem from one thing—understanding others.
Formulas, units, theses, and language, are but human defined—Math, Chem and Physics and what other disciplines have you are but systems by which a group of humans—-make that a large group—use to measure and define what goes on around them. We’re not learning about the world per se, BUT, we’re learning a human defined system.
Similarily, much of the thoughts and concepts that give me misery, either by their prescence or absence—altruism, true concern, love, betrayal, loyalty, intelligence, brotherhood, friendship, selfishness, jealousy, lies, ulterior motives, intentions, deceptions, arrogance, contempt—-all of which I am gifted to discern DO NOT ACTUALLY EXIST. These non-existant, idiosyncratic concepts and feelings just serve to torment us, to no end.  They only exist in our minds, in mine, in yours, in that woman on the road, in the mind of that special girl, in the mind of your mom. The only thing that truely exists, is the existance of the thing itself. You see, what matter is it WHY someone does something to you? It has been done, be it benign or malicious. Anything else rather is subjective.
Those that are simple, and live freely and happily(yes, I have people in mind here) due to their obliviousness—it is not that they are unaware and stupidly ignorant, just that, they have the epiphany(whether conscious or subconscious, doesn’t really matter), that it ALL doesn’t exist. They are not dull, blunt and lug-headed, but are shrewd beyond their years.

My. Hard to swallow? I’m not sure, and I’m thinking. KISS.

Maybe, although I was predipositioned and exceedingly good at this—this might not exist. We and our leaders are a bunch of stupid “smart” humans, that abuse our power to deem what we think right—intelligent and “deep”. In actuality, we’re just the stupid ones and the ones free from all these, the ones who see clearly, innocently–are the most intelligent ones of all.  Just that in a world with more people “stupid” than smart, stupid becomes smart. Complex becomes good, just as the COMPLEX people–the majority–defines it. Perhaps, true intelligence(should this even be the word anymore?), or true giftedness would be to see the world as it is—simply simple. Perhaps, we should be revering and be led by retards after all, who has heard of a retarded serial murderer? Maybe, just maybe, “retards” are the most genius of all.

In the same vein, Si Yuan, you and I might just be the stupidest ones of all.

If retarded is the new genius, then is genius the new retarded?


Posted in Uncategorized on 10/05/2010 by Joel

I remember distinctly that you told me Take A Bow sucks. Sudden change of tone?

Ah. Disappointing dude.

Let’s Roll, mmmmkay?

Glee FTW.

Posted in Uncategorized on 08/05/2010 by Joel

This is sooo hot. 🙂


Posted in Uncategorized on 05/05/2010 by Joel

I write.

One has to ponder, what am I writing for? Much to my chagrin, my concomitant writing is merely for the sake of writing–to achieve an objective, to satire, to mock, to state or to make a point.

Where is the joy? Or the creative expression?

I claim to everyone—I am not one that it well-versed in the arts–my singing and drawing are quite a testament to that. Alas, is it implied that I cannot express myself?
But, I realize I AM an artist….just an nondescript, sporadic one.

A painter, I am not. A singer, I am not.
I am.. a wordsmith.

Delighting in lyrical flowing lines of language, although I haven’t penned down one such line in an eon of a time–There is but one truth—I am truly, irrevocably in love with the english language.

Whilst staring at the art of the T17 girls and thinking about the essays I had read…. I realized, I had strayed from the pure joy of writing, my writing does not delight in itself! It is only as good as people say it is! This is but the root cause of my writer’s block, I speculate.

Henceforth, in true vainglory, I will bestow my writing with ironic phrases, quote oft-quoted quotes and grace my every composition with aureate, histrionic lexemes and vocables. So as to truly delight and take pleasure in my magniloquence—so that my writing will be free and be a joy to pursue.

Call me weird if you must—but artists beyond their time are misunderstood.

Eloquence, Mangniloquence and Grandiloquence.

Time to start waxing lyrical.

Let’s Roll.

If Only You Knew..

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/05/2010 by Joel

If only you knew…how much I think about you.

If only you knew…how much I enjoy talking to you.

If only you knew…how much I want to talk to you.

If only you knew…how your smile brightens my day.

If only you knew…how much I cared.

If only you knew…how I look forward to your every text.

If only you knew…how much you mean to me.

If only you knew…how much I want you to care.

Most of all,

If only you knew…

That I’m talking about you.