Life.

Posted in Uncategorized on 09/01/2012 by Joel

Wake up, Val, Azure Dreams, Dota, Sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

 

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2012.

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/01/2012 by Joel

The future holds a lot of uncertainty. After all, who knows what the future holds?

But, but…
I hope the future holds you, holding me.

I just can’t stay away.

Posted in Uncategorized on 09/12/2011 by Joel

You know when life gets so busy til the point where you start to think you have to sacrifice some leisure activities and try to be time-effective? So you forgo your leisure activites and you try to stay away from them? I thought it’ll turn out fine, after all, it’s just a short hiatus, not as if I’m stopping for infinity, right?  Should be managable ain’t it?

Nope!  I just can’t.  I tried telling myself, okay, Val’s overseas this week, try not to think about, call or text her.. to save money and time and maybe get some work done this week… Similarly, cause I won’t be spending time with her this weekend, I should try not to play basketball and get something productive done and/or prepare for my driving test. I just can’t.

Two hours after she passed the causeway, I smsed her already.  Hehehe discipline fail. Then today I smsed her also…plus every night I’ve been waiting for her to come online to talk to her! Looks like I really can’t stay away lol.

Even worse, I tell myself, must go home sleep early.. but next thing I know, I’m at the basketball court, playing till 10~11. I just can’t not play. LOL.

Plan(In an ideal reality)—-> Tuesday: Go home early(after driving), rest, maybe work out lightly and sleep by ten
Wednesday: Go home early(after driving), read, rest and sleep by ten
Thursday: Go home early(after driving), read, rest and prepare driving test stuff, sleep.

Reality:  Tues, Wed, Thurs: Drive, Play Ball, Come home and wait for Val to come online(play with dog, talk to sis,PSP), sleep by twelvish(web consumes me). Fail.

But, no matter, I actually still passed my driving test. XD  So there’s no sad moral of the story here.

Just that–I really am deeply in love with Val Ho, Basketball, My Sis, Shadow and my PSP.

Omg, such a boring matter of fact post. Where’s my flair?! Oh well, NS has stolen it.

Independence.

Posted in Uncategorized on 04/09/2011 by Joel

I’m sick of beginning with an imaginary prayer to the literary Gods to bestow me with inspiration and flair.
Instead, I’m just gonna go ramble on, hope I’ll be flowing anyways….(Wait did I just do it again?)

These recent times have been trying, I’ll admit. Thankfully, I have a lot of love and support from the people around me. But, after thinking long and hard(hehe), I realise that perhaps that is the problem. I hypothesize that, yes, the precarious situation itself  may have been caused by me but, perhaps, my inability to deal with it lies on how much support I have and have been using. You see, if you don’t use it, you lose it. When you become too reliant on your loved ones, you stop using your own wits, resources and brains; you stop standing on your own ground. Instead, you become a spineless whiny amalgamation of them… without your own set of feet to stand firmly upon(Note: I say a set.) You become dead weight for them to carry and you start to lose yourself, your identity.

In order to fully love and benefit others, you have to first start loving yourself, reach within yourself and find who you are, before you integrate back into society’s network of MUTUALLY supportive relationships(the only beneficial kind of relationship, if you ask me.)—–Develop your voice, your opinion, your stand.. yourself.

So that when you contribute, be it in essays, care, conversations and actions.. your own personal self(with your own two feet) comes through and allow you to support others.  Instead of your spineless, lack of an identity busting through and latching on whoever is nearby–draining them of their emotions and energy,  especially your loved ones(cause their always in the vicinity).

Just because they care, doesn’t mean you give them your load to bear.

Independence, authenticity and self.

Go find it.

Let’s roll.

Mind-bending reality?

Posted in Uncategorized on 20/04/2011 by Joel

The more I hear, see and read, the worse it gets.

Who says what? Who cites what? Sources, oral accounts, cross-references and personal bias. Head-numbing, I tell you.
A visit to the library has incepted(lol?) a thought I cannot shake off—a epiphany that there are millions upon millions of pieces of information out in this world:true, false, partly true, twisted, misrepresented, rose-tinted, cynical, paradigm affected…blahblahblah, I’m sure there are many more.

The question is, how do you know what’s right and what’s wrong? In a world where words are twisted and bent to serve one’s the individual’s purpose, how to do you purify and sift out real pieces of information?

I don’t know. I think no one does. The only way(hypothetically, of course), is to come up and test a hypothesis. Right? Because, well, science is all-powerful. Whatever you learn, make a hypothesis and test it out. If it works, then it’s true. At least for your case. I guess it only works on a contextual level; the hypothesis only applies to the situation you tested it in. And similar ones, as a general guess.

So. A PhD says that looks do matter and hundreds of Singaporean girls on online forums say they don’t. Hmm. Hypothesis time?

Protected: They go hand-in-hand.

Posted in Uncategorized on 24/03/2011 by Joel

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Protected: All the advice you ever need.

Posted in Uncategorized on 21/03/2011 by Joel

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